Be Careful What You Think
“Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.” Proverbs 4:23
This verse from Prov. 4:23 is so true. Our inner thoughts, our words, even what’s spoken to ourselves, it really matters. For it can hold the power to run our lives and dictate our choices. All the more reason to make sure that our “thinking” is based on Truth, on what God says. When we fill our minds, our thoughts, our hearts with the right things, the wrong things won’t have any room to enter. His Word, His Truth offers a protection, a guard over our hearts and lives, for our decisions and thoughts. It’s not easy sometimes. The world can be really great at throwing stones, insults, and discouraging words our way. We might get off track. We get distracted. We look to other sources to give us wisdom and direction. Or to make us feel better about ourselves. Many times, we start buying the lie and speaking negativity or defeat over our own lives, and those around us. We start sinking deeper. And believing it’s all true. God knows how vulnerable we are to attack, in allowing our thoughts and words to work against us, and in causing division or strife with others. Maybe that’s why He gives this wisdom, to set a guard, a gate, over our hearts and minds, so that we don’t allow just any thought or word to enter in.
Another version says it like this, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Prov. 4:23. We need to break it down like this.
It’s a choice we make every day. All day. To protect our hearts and be careful with our thinking. To make sure our affections and energies are focused on the right things. To concentrate on the desires that push us towards God and along a wise path.
All of our life, depends on it. May God help us to walk in His wisdom and grace, so that our thoughts and words, all that we focus on, would bring honor to him and strength to our days.
Trusting God
But the dove found no rest for or the sole of her foot, and she returned unto him… And the dove came in to him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf (Genesis 8:9-11).
Forgiveness Will Liberate You
As we end our seven day study on forgiveness, we see how important it is with our Christian walk. We’re not saying it is easy, but it is vital to your mental, spiritual, and physical growth. Why is it so important to forgive those who have hurt you? Because if you hold onto bitterness and resentment, you are only building a prison around yourself and giving the enemy the key. The one who hurt you becomes your jailer, and can control your life on all levels. The moment your forgive that person you walk right out of your cell into freedom. You regain control over your thoughts and emotions. You are no longer attacked by vengeance and hatred. Forgiveness will liberate you! It will set you free to focus on things in your life that are truly important, like the relationships that are wholesome and good. You are called according to the purpose of God.
Accepting Forgiveness
This can be a hard thing to accept for many of us. It sounds all well and good, but in reality, the weight of sin makes it difficult to believe a perfect God can forgive us. Yet, His Word assures us that God does not count our sin against us. So how can we live in this truth? The first step is to acknowledge our sin: to ourselves and to God. This opens up the door for honest conversations with the Lord and helps us stop hiding from the fear of being found out. The next step is to fill our hearts and minds with truth. Throughout the Bible, God teaches how an unaccepting heart can be changed and softened to accept His forgiveness. The following verses are truth from a loving God who longs to transform our lives through the grace of His forgiveness.
8 Steps to Forgiveness
- Acknowledge the pain. Sometimes it’s hard to admit you’ve been hurt because doing so intensifies the feelings. But you won’t be able to work through the pain until you admit you’re hurting. Tears are a pretty good indicator that something’s wrong. So are feelings of resentment
- Think through the pain. Be honest about how you feel, even if you think you shouldn’t feel that way. Admit that you don’t like what happened or how you were treated and that it makes you sad or angry. Try writing these feelings in a journal or sharing them with a trusted Christian friend.
- Put yourself in the shoes of your offender. Think about a time when you have wronged another person, maybe your parents, a sibling or a friend. You needed their forgiveness. Did that person extend forgiveness to you, or withhold it? How did it make you feel? When it comes to forgiving others, remember these words from Jesus: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you … ” (Matthew 7:12).
- Remember that God forgave you. If you’re a Christian, you’ve admitted your need for God’s forgiveness. Remem bering how he forgave you, when you didn’t deserve it, can help you forgive others. You may not be ready at this point to voice your forgiveness to your offender. In fact, communication with that person may be impossible if, for example, the person is no longer living. That’s OK. You can forgive someone without having your offender accept your forgiveness.
- Remember that God commands us to forgive. When Jesus taught about prayer, he stressed the importance of forgiving others (Luke 11:14). And in Mark 11:25, he says, “If you hold anything against anyone, forgive him … “
- Let go of the pain. Once you’ve gone through the stages above, refuse to hold onto your hurt. Don’t replay the offense over and over. Allowing yourself to get sad or angry again and again will only cause you more pain. Determine that you are going to choose to forgive your offender. Your emotions might not agree with this decision. This is where prayer comes in. Tell God you want to forgive, and ask him to change your heart toward the person who wronged you. You may want to consider voicing forgiveness to your offender either vocally or through a letter. But again, if this isn’t possible, it doesn’t mean you haven’t expressed forgiveness.
- Continue to forgive. If the wound was deep, you’ll probably have to forgive more than once. When memories of the wrong come to mind and you find yourself getting worked up over it, immediately go to God in prayer.
- Pray for the one who hurt you. It may be impossible to restore a relationship with your offender. For example, you don’t know where the person lives or contacting this person could be a safety risk. But you can pray for the one who hurt you. Ask God to reveal his love to your offender. Doing so will help you to release any remaining resentment.
Forgive and Forget
Forgiveness does not come cheaply. Someone has to pay the price. For example, what happens if you owe someone $1000 & you cannot repay your debt? Imagine the person to whom you owe the money saying, “I forgive you your debt.” Does this offer to cancel your debt mean no one needs to pay the $1000. No, of course not. Instead of you paying, the person to whom you owe the money has themselves had to pay. They carried your debt. When God forgives our sin, He carries our debt. He pays the penalty, the price, for our sin – which is death. He is willing to forgive us of our debt and forget it even happened.
One of the most wonderful things about receiving the forgiveness of Christ is that we can be set free from the burden of guilt. When we truly know we are forgiven then we can begin to forgive ourselves too. There is a true story of a man, a much-loved man of God who carried the burden of a secret sin he had committed many years before. He had repented but still had no peace, no sense of God’s forgiveness. In the church he attended was a woman who deeply loved God & who claimed to have visions in which she spoke with Jesus & Jesus spoke with her. The man, however, was sceptical. To test the woman he said to her, “The next time you speak with Christ, I want you to ask Him what sin I have committed.” The woman agreed. A few days later the man asked, “Well, did Christ visit you in your dreams?” “Yes, He did,”she replied. “And did you ask Him what sin I committed?” “Yes.” “Well, what did He say?” “He said, ‘I don’t remember.’” This little story reminds us of the fact God forgives & He forgets our sin – even if we don’t. As God says in Isaiah 43:25, “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, & remembers your sins no more.”
No matter the sinful things we have said or done, God is willing to forgive us if we will repent & turn to Jesus. There is wonderful relief & wonderful release from guilt, shame, and condemnation when we come to Christ and receive His forgiveness. He is willing to forgive us and forget it even happened, as Christians we need to be willing to do the same.
Forgiveness Is Crucial
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14-15 ESV)
Forgive as you have been forgiven. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s at the core of who you are in Christ.
What Is Real Forgiveness?
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). This is the starting point for genuine forgiveness. If you don’t feel forgiven, you won’t want to forgive anybody else. If you’re hard on yourself, you’re going to be hard on others. But the more grace you receive from God, the more gracious you’re going to be to others. The more forgiven you feel by God, the more forgiving you’ll be toward others.
Romans 12:19 says, “Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it” (LB). Life is not fair, but one day God’s going to settle the score. He’s going to right the wrongs. So, who can get better justice — you or God?
The Bible says in Luke 6:27-28, “Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (NIV). How can you tell when you’ve really forgiven somebody? When you can look at that person’s hurt and not just your own and pray for God to bless him or her.
You ask, “How could I ever do that for the person who’s hurt me?” You can’t unless you allow the love of God to penetrate your life. Only the love of God can help you do something like that.
“Peter came to him and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’” (Jewish law said you had to forgive a person three times, so Peter doubled it and threw one in for good measure.) “‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’” (Matthew 18:21-22 NLT)
How long do you have to keep forgiving a person? As long as it takes. You have to keep forgiving that person until the pain stops and the desire to get revenge goes away.
Forgiveness Is A One Way Street
Natural human reactions can be revenge, anger, bitterness, or even disillusionment. We often protect ourselves by drawing away from the offender. This may lead to isolation from everyone into a self-imposed exile of loneliness.
Waiting for the offender to make things right is usually pointless. The offender either doesn’t realize the damage they’ve done through their words or actions, or they just don’t care. Your suffering means nothing to the offender. They couldn’t care less! The injured one carries the hurt.
“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34 NLT)
“Forgive them? You ask. They haven’t asked my forgiveness.” But forgiveness is a one-way street. When Jesus forgave those who crucified Him, they had not asked for forgiveness. Jesus would have never forgiven them if their asking were the prerequisite. No. Not only did He forgive them, He also did not hold it to their account.
God’s Spirit is Working in You
“God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him” (Philippians 2:13).
It is the Holy Spirit’s job to produce Christlike character in you.
The Bible says, “The Lord … makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image” (2 Corinthians 3:18b). This process of changing us to be more like Jesus is called sanctification.
You cannot reproduce the character of Jesus in your own strength. New Year’s resolutions, willpower, and best intentions are not enough. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to make the changes God wants to make in our lives. The Bible says, “God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him” (Philippians 2:13 NLT, second edition).
Mention the “power of the Holy Spirit,” and many people think of miraculous demonstrations and intense emotions. But most of the time the Holy Spirit’s power is released in your life in quiet, unassuming ways that you aren’t even aware of or feel. He often nudges us with “a gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:12b).
Christlikeness is not produced by imitation but by inhabitation. We allow Christ to live through us. “This is the secret: Christ lives in you” (Colossians 1:27).
How does this happen in real life? Through the choices we make. We choose to do the right thing in situations and then trust God’s Spirit to give us his power, love, faith, and wisdom to do it. Since God’s Spirit lives inside of us, these things are always available for the asking.