There is no value or human expression of greater importance than love. Paul’s incomparable treatise on this subject in 1 Corinthians 13 is sandwiched between two chapters that deal with spiritual gifts. The Corinthians focused too much on their display of such gifts, so the apostle showed them the “more excellent way” (1 Corinthians 12:31). Interestingly, he made no attempt to define love but instead described its importance and expression.

The type of love Paul is talking about isn’t human in origin but, rather, comes from God—a part of His very nature. It’s unselfish, sacrificial love that acts on behalf of someone else. Since the Lord wants to transform our character into the image of His Son, this priority makes perfect sense. You see, whenever we display such selfless care for one another, that’s when we are the most like Christ.

The first three verses of this chapter issue us a warning. Without the motivation of love, all our good deeds—even service for the Lord—will profit us nothing. In God’s eyes, a loving spirit is more important than all our impressive words, knowledge, faith, generosity, and self-sacrifice. When we stand before Christ to be judged for our good works, those deeds done for selfish reasons will not be worthy of reward.

We are all blinded to some degree when it comes to our motives, so discerning why we serve God or do good deeds can be difficult. Pray to know your heart’s hidden intentions, and replace any self-centered motivations with His “more excellent way” of love. Then your works will be of eternal value.

Faith can fell forests. Even if the tribes had realized what treasures lay above them, they would hardly have dared to suppose it possible to rid the hills of their dense forest-growth. But as God indicated their task, He reminded them that they had power enough. The visions of things that seem impossible are presented to us, like these forest-covered steeps, not to mock us, but to incite us to spiritual exploits which would be impossible unless God had stored within us the great strength of His own indwelling.

Difficulty is sent to reveal to us what God can do in answer to the faith that prays and works. Are you straitened in the valleys? Get away to the hills, live there; get honey out of the rock, and wealth out of the terraced slopes now hidden by forest.

Let’s consult the architect for three ways to live in this wonderful establishment called marriage. We’ll use Proverbs 24:3-4 as our home base:

God’s pattern for marriage is simple: wisdom, understanding, and knowledge.

“By wisdom a house is built….”

First, let’s lay the foundation. The word built comes from the Hebrew word that means “to restore.” It’s the same word God uses when He took the rib from Adam’s chest and rebuilt it into a woman. God says it takes wisdom to build this kind of house. Wisdomessentially means “seeing with discernment.” It’s the idea of seeing the broad picture of something. When you choose to look at the broad picture rather than the petty details, you build a strong foundation.

Established in Hebrew means to set in order something that is cluttered or to stand upright something that has fallen. If wisdom is seeing with discernment, then this second piece is responding to what you see with insight. How can you do that? With understanding.

In other words, an irritation I would normally take personally, I don’t take personally any longer. A conflict that cuts into my plan will not irritate me if I have wisdom and understanding. I will see it as God sees it, as good or necessary for me at this time.

“By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”

Man has turned it the other way! So many are mesmerized into thinking, “All we need, Honey, are more things.” But misery just increases as our rooms remain empty of God’s riches. God says, “By wisdom it can be restored. By understanding it can be set right. By knowledge those rooms can have those qualities that’ll never burn up.”

Now, before you pass this article on to your spouse with the instructions, “Here, Honey, read how you should change,” remember the place to start remodeling your marriage is with you. I have found that someone can be fulfilled in the most difficult circumstances if he has wisdom, understanding, and knowledge, or is working toward that end. But I have also found individuals who have a built-in, perfect opportunity for a happy home but lack wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, and they’re miserable. It’s remarkable. Ask the Architect to build within you a heart of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding for your mate.

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:9).

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:6).

I believe that graciousness of speech, speaking well of others (even my enemy or opponent) is something God requires of me. As someone who rarely shies away from conversation or confrontation, every day is a battle for me in this regard. I find myself asking,

Is this a hill to die on?

Is this going to change anyone’s mind, anyway?

Is it even my job to change this person’s mind?

Is this loving? Worth the fuss? Compassionate?

More times than not, recently, I’ve begun to type up a Facebook comment only to delete it before pressing “post.” Not because I changed my stance or re-thought my opinion. Rather, because words don’t die on the World Wide Web – and I have no second chance at a first impression. Perhaps the fewer cold, impersonal words I type into Facebook in the midst of an argument, the fewer tempers will be lost, fewer hearts will hurt, and fewer friends will feel annoyed, alone, or attacked. Perhaps the more I distance myself from the social media circus, the more I can pay attention to the flesh-and-blood conversations that might arise over the dinner table or on the train. Perhaps the less I scroll through Facebook, the more chances I’ll have to look into people’s faces and eyes.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:22-27).